Category: Time Warner Cable

Total 2 Posts

Time Warner Cable – Elevator Music (feat. Kevin Nealon)

1) I have no idea why this is called “Elevator Music.” Time Warner already had a commercial based on this, and it was a thousand times better than this heap of trash.

2) Time Warner is still not a company anymore.

3) This whole thing built on a bed of fucking lies.

No built in price increases? Do you mind if I fact check this? And by fact check, I mean go to your website and look at prices as though I’m a new customer? Hang on, give me a second….

Hey that price looks pretty okay. But wait, why is “months” notated?

Uh, what exactly are these retail rates that are definitely higher than these advertised rates and appears built in to the price? Let me check the terms and conditions at the bottom for details…

What the fucking fuck you non-existent pieces of shit? Somehow, you continue to be the absolute fucking worst even while not existing.

Time Warner Cable – Open House

What the shit is this nonsense?

A) You’re not a company anymore.

B) When you were a company, you were universally regarded as fucking awful.

C) You also were notoriously the only cable/internet option for a lot of people in the country.

So the idea that these fuckwit neighbors apparently don’t know what Time Warner Cable is, is insane. Of course, the kid calling their internet “crazy fast” knows who they are, but has been willingly withholding that information from his father and likely hiding in this families bushes to bite off their unsecured wifi for God knows how long.

“You can get wifi all over this place!” Probably because these people, despite not securing their network, were smart enough to buy their own router, instead of paying TWC an extra $10 a month for their rubbish modem/router all-in-one.

It’s in the best interest of this seemingly childless couple, who live in a massive house for no other reason than being white, to get the fuck out of this neighborhood full of morons. But unfortunately they hired a realtor who has no idea how to control an open house, and let it become a free-for-all in their kitchen.