You know that thing of when you have an infinity pool and you jump into backwards?
Oh, well do you know that thing of like when you’re drowning? That’s more preferable than watching this continuing Matthew McConaughey Lincoln ad campaign. “It’s like that” is the theme of this new batch of ads. But what the shit does that mean?
In one of the ads, he’s being shaved. Apparently driving a Lincoln is like having a stranger stroke a blade along your face. In another, he’s listening to jazz. Or is he? It’s hard to tell, because the jazz is apparently what’s making the engine run. I think. Look, I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
And yes, Saturday Night Live has already destroyed this campaign for its stupid insanity. You kind of have to give Lincoln credit. They didn’t abandon the insane poetry of a Texas bred stoner, they doubled down on it. Only this time, they aren’t letting him speak.
Lincoln: Driving it is like if you fell backwards into a pool.
Lincoln: Driving it is like if you let a stranger run a sharp blade along your throat.
Lincoln: It’s like if your engine worked like jazz, and random notes were played left and right.
Lincoln: Don’t buy our car, we spent our safety budget on insane ads that don’t inspire confidence in their ability to withstand a fender bender let alone a full on collision.