What the shit is this nonsense?
A) You’re not a company anymore.
B) When you were a company, you were universally regarded as fucking awful.
C) You also were notoriously the only cable/internet option for a lot of people in the country.
So the idea that these fuckwit neighbors apparently don’t know what Time Warner Cable is, is insane. Of course, the kid calling their internet “crazy fast” knows who they are, but has been willingly withholding that information from his father and likely hiding in this families bushes to bite off their unsecured wifi for God knows how long.
“You can get wifi all over this place!” Probably because these people, despite not securing their network, were smart enough to buy their own router, instead of paying TWC an extra $10 a month for their rubbish modem/router all-in-one.
It’s in the best interest of this seemingly childless couple, who live in a massive house for no other reason than being white, to get the fuck out of this neighborhood full of morons. But unfortunately they hired a realtor who has no idea how to control an open house, and let it become a free-for-all in their kitchen.