SYRACUSE, NY — After watching a Facebook video posted by his Aunt Janet, claiming to restore your faith in humanity, 32-year-old Steven Dyer is angry that his faith in humanity not restored.
“We’re constantly bombarded with negative news. It’s hard to remain positive,” Steven professed. “My faith in humanity is gone so I click on my Aunt Janet’s video and…”
The video in question is a crudely edited together slide show of twenty-one images of various faith restoring acts set to the docile tones of a public domain song.
“…I only needed 3 images to realize that my faith in humanity would not be restored,” a defeated Steven acknowledged. “Like, sure, sharing a smile with a stranger is sweet but did it make me forget the Rwanda Genocide? Nope. Did that picture of a villager saving kittens during a flood help me through my divorce? Not a chance. Or why didn’t that police officer who gave shoes to a homeless man stop 9/11?”
The lack of faith restoration didn’t stop the video from spreading virally, angering Steven even more. “How virtuous can a video really be that asks you to like subscribe and share? Seriously, watching a motorcyclist helping an elderly lady cross the street did not crowdfund my chemo payments. Humanity is selfish and awful.”
Some serious soul searching will need to be done from Steven’s couch but he does admit that these videos do have some unintended value. “These videos help me see who’s dumb as a bag of rock. Needless to say, I unfriended Aunt Janet.”