October is my absolute favorite month. Pumpkin flavored yogurt at Yogurtland. Salads with turkey and cranberries at Panera Bread. Pumpkin chai lattes at Jameson Brown Coffee Company in Pasadena. The cardinals playing october baseball. but the best part about October is the very last week…Centre’s homecoming, MY BIRTHDAY, and Halloween! What’s not to love, right?

Well, i’ll tell ya. Picking out a perfect Halloween costume is what’s not to love. So much thought goes into finding the perfect costume. Heaven forbid if you have more than one party to go to!

There are so many factors to consider when picking out said perfect costume. Where is your party? Who will you be with? Are you flying solo or going as part of a couple or group? Do you want to be slutty or funny? And how much are you willing to spend to create your masterpiece?

Ugh, my head already hurts.

Or, rather still hurts. This has been my entire day off today. The answers to my above questions…Vegas. My boyfriend’s boss and his friends. Part of a couple. And on the cheap.

The struggle I’m having is defining the answer to slutty or funny. My gut has always been go for the funny, but Halloween in Vegas is a much different monster than a friend’s house. Vegas inherently means slutty…or at least “going out” clothes. But seeing as I will be partying with my boyfriend’s boss, I somehow need to balance slutty with tasteful. Combine that with the fact that I need to share a theme with my boyfriend and I was on the verge of giving up at multiple points.

Never fear friends. My creative mind did come up with something. Original, easy, hopefully cheap, and tastefully slutty and funny at the same time. Curious? Check in with me next week for pictures and a full report. All you need to know is that it is definitely wrtb approved.

After a promising start followed by a mishmash of episodes ranging from pretty damn good to nigh unwatchable, the fourth season of Torchwood ends not with a bang — and for that matter, not even a whimper — but with a resounding “meh.”

I think it’s undeniable at this point that Torchwood has not benefited from the change from monster of the week to season-long arc, but I’m left wondering if the problem was that the plot simply wasn’t interesting enough to keep viewers engaged, or if Davies’ inability to plot a proper story arc is to blame. Looking back on the pre-Moffet era of NuWho, I can’t help but feel that his arcs declined in quality exponentially as time went on.

Bad Wolf was epic, the Daleks and Cybermen were pretty cool, it was neat to see The Master but Doctor Jesus was complete rubbish, and I don’t even want to think about planets in the sky or Timothy Dalton. Yet Torchwood’s arcs seemed to keep getting better, or at least better than that whole Abaddon thing.

Perhaps the success of Children of Earth just went to his head, or maybe he simply ran out of ideas for stand-alone episodes. Whatever the case may be, by the time we found out what was causing the Miracle, I had already lost interest. And it’s a shame, because The Blood Line wasn’t as terrible as it could have been. And I think it’s unfortunate that it had to be the endcap to a storyline that would have worked so well as a miniseries but was instead distilled into an entire season; spread too thin to be truly engaging.

To be perfectly honest, I would be surprised if Torchwood returned for a fifth season. In fact, I’m not entirely sure I want it to. I don’t think I’d particularly enjoy seeing a post-Miracle world. And that’s a strange thing to say, considering how much I’d been looking forward to it being back on the air. But as the season finale neared its conclusion, Jack mentioned the Racnoss living in the center of the Earth.

And for a moment everything was better.

It was then that I realized why I even liked Torchwood in the first place — it’s because I love Doctor Who — and if my options are a Torchwood that doesn’t mesh with the Whoniverse, or no Torchwood at all…well, think my choice is probably obvious.

Although it doesn’t make up for The Middle Men, this week’s episode was definitely a huge step up from what we’ve been given thus far this season. Who can we thank for this? Jane Espenson, of course. Once again she knocks it out of the park.

I was reminded of the season two episode Fragments. Some people hate flashback episodes but I typically feel like they can be a lot of fun, and Immortal Sins is no exception. You get a great sense of the time period and it was really nice to see that Jack’s mission in the US had some connection to the rest of the Whoniverse. However I can’t help feeling like the parasite may be back as the deus ex machina/reset button at the end of the season. I’m actually not sure I’d particularly mind, either.

Jack’s relationship with Angelo could have easily felt forced, but it seemed pretty natural. Angelo’s attitude in particular seemed to reflect the era and his cultural background fairly accurately. And by the end it’s not at all surprising that he would have spent 83 years trying to get Jack back. Although I wish it hadn’t been so obvious the moment we see him that of course Angelo is the one behind everything. I’m hoping that the whole thing is just a red herring. Who knows, maybe the Triangle Screensaver is just trying to exploit Jack’s memory of that relationship — maybe Angelo isn’t even alive anymore. It was interesting to actually see who I assume is them, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that they’re not actually human, because otherwise they’re going to be pretty damn old.

The scene in which Jack is tortured at the hands of the peasants is a testament to how little you actually have to show to get the brutality of a situation across. I think next to Countrycide this was the most disturbing episode of the entire series, and it excellently demonstrates how vicious and terrible people can be — far worse than Weevils and Daleks. The more I think about it, the more it seems like everyone’s assumption that some otherworldly force is behind Miracle Day is just there to throw us off. The Triangle Screensaver is probably just three regular old human dudes. That would be the ironic thing to do anyway. Perhaps they drained him dry a couple times back in 1928 and they’ve just been living off his blood all this time.

And look, Esther actually did something useful! She noticed that Gwen was acting strangely and decided to investigate. Almost as if she works for the CIA or something. Weird.

Also, this episode shows how much more interesting and better paced this season is when they ditch that ridiculous Oswald Danes storyline.

As for Gwen…well, I’m not sure what to think. Did she or did she not plan on Esther and Rex coming to the rescue? Honestly, I’m not sure. I want to say that she hoped they would show up in the nick of time, but that she was ready and willing to give Jack up to the bad guys. In any event, I think the whole exchange between Jack and Gwen was completely, brutally honest, and I loved every second of it. The two of them are far more interesting when they bare their dark sides.

But there was one thing that really killed the episode for me: Jack’s coat.

When we first met Jack in The Empty Child he was wearing a similar, albeit different coat. That’s set during World War II. He doesn’t have it on Satellite 5 when he’s killed and subsequently resurrected, and we can assume that his vortex manipulator had only enough juice left to send him back to the 1800s (or else why wouldn’t he just jump a little further into the future) so presumably he couldn’t get another RAF coat until WWII came around again, and therefore shouldn’t have it in 1927. The only thing that could possibly resolve this issue would be for it to actually be a World War I era coat…but something tells me this was simply a production error.

Oh well.

Throughout my short life, I have seen many brawls in many different sports. I’ve seen Ron Artest climb into the stands and go after a guy. I’ve seen Frank Francisco throw a chair at a fan. I’ve seen batters get tackled and pitchers get pummeled. Hockey fights getting out of control when two goalies go at each other. But I have never. EVER. Seen anything like this.

Two basketball teams, college basketball’s Georgetown and professional Chinese basketball’s Bayi Rockets, got into a gigantic brawl that consisted of benches clearing, fans throwing bottles, punches being thrown, and chairs being thrown at one another. All of this on what was suppose to be a “U.S. Goodwill Tour.” Well, I think we can safely assume that that’s no longer the case. Now, what caused the brawl exactly? I’m not too sure, but from the articles I’ve read, here a few details to just, ya know, kinda wrap your head around:

- The Bayi Rockets had 57 free throw attempts.
- Georgetown only had 15.
- Fighting in China is apparently what fighting in hockey is. China’s players have been fined tens of thousands of dollars by the world and Asian federations for scrapping with opponents.
- Georgetown did NOT start the brawl.

Now, looking at the video of the game, it doesn’t seem like anything is going wrong. The ball is being moved down the court, and then all of a sudden two of the Chinese players attack a Georgetown player. What happens after that is the quickest flocking of Asians that I have ever seen. It’s rather impressive. I’d come up with an analogy but it’s been a rough week and it’s 2 AM so you’ll have to do with the Asians storming in to attack like the kamikaze.

From what it seems, all Georgetown was really trying to do was just trying to get away from this insanity by getting their asses to their locker room. In a serious note regarding this whole thing, it’s a tad ridiculous. If a country has been fined that much money for causing mayhem like this, shouldn’t a suspension be put out there? Or is it just natural to have a Dojo training session in the middle of a game? If that’s the case, I don’t think us Americans got that memo. I get sports can be competitive, and sometimes it warrants a fight (ex. hockey), but let your game do the talking. Don’t let fucking chairs fly. That’s just idiotic. I had a chair thrown at me once. In elementary school. By a Special Ed kid who was playing football with it. Completely different situation, but the fact of the matter is that it’s no fucking fun having one thrown at you.

For those of you wondering what the score was when the fight took place, it wasn’t anything drastic. In fact, the fucking game was tied 64-64. No one team was doing particularly better than the other. But that says a lot about China’s free throwing. You get 57 attempts. That should be an easy 57 points. Maybe the reason they fight so much is since they fucking suck? They decide they can’t beat any other team so they sharpen up their karate and taekwondo skills and beat the living shit out of every other team. I don’t know really. But it’s pathetic. On all ends. Georgetown, get the fuck out of there. Get home. And be safe here. Trust me.

by Steven Lawson

That was an hour of my life that I’ll never get back.

I’m not saying it was a bad episode. Sure, it seemed like nothing happened. And the stuff that actually did happen could have easily been squeezed into episodes five and seven. I guess Ernie Hudson was a nice addition, but everything he said was superfluous to what we’ve already been told.

How often does Rex need to talk into the camera explaining the same thing? Why do we need to spend so much time with Maloney acting like a paranoid idiot? Speaking of Maloney, why did Esther think strangling him was going to do a goddamn thing? I really wish she’d ended up in the oven instead of Vera. It’s been nothing but a string of bad decisions with her. Don’t get all upset about having your real name associated with an overflow camp when you’re the one who decided to use your goddamn name in the first place. For people who are on the run from the government, they sure do hate using aliases. Is this for our benefit? Do they really think the audience is that stupid?

Also, why is a CIA operative incapable of effectively holding her own against an overweight 40-something middle management desk jockey? Yes, I know she’s an analyst, but I’m pretty sure they receive self-defense training. I mean at least have the foresight to bring some sort of weapon if your intent is to rescue someone who’s being held prisoner by a guy that you’re already pretty sure killed someone. And why did she namedrop Vera, of all people? Out of the countless high level CIA nobodies that she’s worked with over the years, you’d think there would have been some other name floating around up there.

I suppose the only thing that really got resolved is that now the public is outraged about the treatment of the Category Ones…except Jack made a point of saying that it didn’t change anything. Why was it necessary to devote screen-time to a non-result?

So Gwen got her dad out, that’s cool. But once again it’s something that they could have thrown in at the end of last week’s episode. And where the hell did she get a motorcycle? I find it a little odd that it was easier for her to steal a motorcycle, a black leather outfit in her size, and enough C4 to blow up a large scale facility than it was to smuggle out her father. And if the lenses were able to transmit audio all along then why do they always insist on relying on phoneme recognition?

The only thing that even remotely allowed the story to progress was that bit at the end when Gwen was contacted by…well, we don’t know yet. But whoever they are, they want her to deliver Jack. So how much do you want to bet that instead of telling the rest of the team so they can work out a plan together, she keeps it to herself and hands him over, effectively ending their friendship?

This show often make me want to slam my head repeatedly into a concrete wall. I’d like to think that if I wasn’t tasked with providing a weekly analysis that I may enjoy it better, but deep down I know that I’d still be cognisant of its many flaws — I’d just have no outlet for griping about it.

And I guess now that I think about it, that actually was a pretty bad episode. Go figure.

In this weeks article, there were several things that took place, and I would like to address all three. We’ll start with less severe to most severe. So we’ll begin with the Michael Beasley being a tough guy and putting his gigantic hand over a fans face during the Dyckman Game (like I have any idea what the hell that is.) Beasley, a forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves, ‘mushed’ fan Garland Quince, as he put it, in the face. The video is here. In Quince’s words, “He just mushed me. He mushed me in my face.” I was arguing about a Kevin Durant call and he just mushed me in my face.”

Now, the large question here is, mush? Seriously? That’s the best word you can come up with? Mushing sounds like an awkward term for fucking someone, not for getting a gigantic black hand in your face pushing you backwards. Yes, I did check urbandictionary to see if this is what mush really meant, and it is the second one on there. The first one? “An old Romany word, meaning ‘my good friend.’ Personally, I prefer the first definition here. But then Quince’s advanced description of the events that took place wouldn’t make sense, so, I just don’t know. Beasley isn’t exactly a tough guy for pulling what he did, but, well, actually it just shows that he’s a big fucking baby who can’t take heckling from a fan. Michael Beasley, grow the fuck up and deal with it. Yeah we can hear you yelling I GET PAID TO DO THIS! Big fucking deal. Grow up.

Now the next thing I wish to talk about is actually something a tad more serious. On July 30th, Matt LaPorta of the Cleveland Indians collided at home plate with catcher Matt Treanor of the Royals. In the process, Treanor suffered a concussion and has been out since the incident. Concussions are obviously a very serious injury and should never be joked about. I’m not here to make a joke about the situation, I’m here to talk about how stupid Treanor must be to try and block the plate the way he did.

I don’t have a video, but if you look at the photo, you see that Treanor’s head is the part that’s sticking out most when protecting the plate. Are you a fucking moron? You don’t block the plate with your head. You get your body in front of the plate and knock the runner on his fucking ass when he tries to get home. This is the second severe incident when it comes to blocking home plate, the first being Buster Posey getting the shit knocked out of him since he didn’t know how to block a plate either. Dear catchers, learn how to play your position properly.

And now on to the grand finale. The Philadelphia Phillies vs. The San Francisco Giants.

Now watching the play, OF Shane Victorino of the Phillies is intentionally hit by some unknown pitcher, #52, I’ll get his name in a minute, of the Giants. Let me check…Ramon Ramirez. Yeah sure, whatever. After Victorino gets hit, you see him slowly walk towards the mound, and at this moment, catcher for the Giants Eli Whiteside is hopping for some unknown reason, getting ready to brawl, and as 3B Placido Polanco of the Phillies comes rushing over, Whiteside gets right on his knees, and in an attempt to tackle, goes right for Polanco’s dick. Now, I’ve never seen a guy get tackled like that before, but I’m certain I’ve seen Whiteside’s actions in a couple of porno’s here and there.

And then both teams just come and battle against each other. It’s interesting. But not really. And then Victorino is being held back by an umpire, and as things settle down, Victorino finally pushes his way towards the pile, while pushing an umpire, cause thats the proper thing to do to avoid a suspension, and gets involved with everyone else. Now I’m actually loving this whole little rivalry going on between the Phillies and Giants. Don’t forget, both teams had a bench clearing in the playoffs last season too. It amounted to nothing, but it’s still interesting considering these two teams may end up facing off with each other in the playoffs. As far as bench clearing brawls go, I’ll give this a 6/10. The action wasn’t that drastic, and after the brawl Polanco is seen laughing with a few of the Giants players, meaning, well, shit came from this fucking brawl. It’s bullshit really. Players were suspended and ejected, and that’s that. Although Whiteside gets a gigantic applause for going down on Polanco. It is San Francisco, so that gesture makes sense.

I moved to LA exactly 2 years and 5 days ago. I will never forget my first time to Venice and that wide-eyed schoolgirl feeling I had as I watched the Venice-ites live their culture to the fullest. I put my feet in the very cold Pacific Ocean and got excited because all of a sudden I had this at my access. I very vividly remember my first time into Hollywood and the excitement of seeing all of these Hollywood landmarks and knowing they were in my backyard.

Now, two years later, something has lost its luster. Friends come in to visit and huff and haw about doing those touristy things that were so exciting to that LA-newbie not so long ago. Traffic is bad, things are expensive, and good lord, don’t get me started on the tourists. I don’t know exactly when this shift happened, but I now consider myself an Angelino and sightseeing is NOT on my to do list.

This week though, I went on the Hollywood Sightseeing Tour, an open air bus leaving from Hollywood Blvd and traveling around the city. In two hours, I not only learned a few interesting tidbits about landmarks I see all the time (the 4 Silver Goddesses of Hollywood?? I’ve seen them a million times but knew nothing about them! Now, consider me an expert!), but I also was shown a few things that I didn’t even know existed!

My friend Sarah and I went on this tour. We’re both transplants into the city, but have both been here long enough to feel like we knew what we were talking about. But just mere blocks into the tour, we were gawking out the windows as our driver pointed out condos that Lindsay Lohan used to live in but got kicked out of. We even took our picture under the Hollywood sign, as if it was our first time seeing it. While it wasn’t our first time, the view from outside of Ron Howard’s house where our tour stopped to see the sign was amazing.

Now for me, it shouldn’t be a shocker to anybody that my favorite part of the tour was the star houses. Huge, grossly enormous houses with 123 rooms, an ice skating rink, bowling alley, pool, and screening room (TV Producing Legend Aaron Spelling’s house), tall entry ways with light up squares in every tile (JLo’s house) or even large unseen houses with mysterious trucks loaded with silk pillows being carried in by workers (the Playboy Mansion) drew my attention in. I gawked and drooled and lusted. As we drove past the still-very-impressive-but-slightly-more-sensible houses that we were told belonged to crew members on film and television, Sarah and I promised each other that we would someday be out of our studio apartments and living in one of those and eating and shopping at the boutiques up and down Sunset and Rodeo Drive.

For two hours, the glamour of Hollywood came rushing back to me. It was no longer a dirty place I dread driving to or a city that eats up young dreamers. Instead it was everything that I saw when I first moved here. And it reminded me of everything I want my Hollywood future to be. I enjoyed every second of my 2 hour tour, and when tourist friends come to visit again, I won’t turn my nose up to the idea of going again as a refresher of how incredible of a city I live in.