Conan’s Celebrity Survey

Posted on 16. Jan, 2015 in Living the Dream, Sticky

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Conan has a recurring desk bit called “Celebrity Survey.” The premise is Conan asks three celebrities to complete a phrase.

“My favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor is…”
…Ty Burrell wrote Chunky Monkey.
…Eva Mendes wrote Salted Caramel.
…Ryan Seacrest wrote Ben.

“I learned the heimlich maneuver because…”
…Kate Bosworth wrote incase it’s needed.
…James Spader wrote it’s a good skill to have.
…Eli Manning wrote I’m tired of seeing my brother choke.

“I went to prom with…”
…Amy Adams wrote my first love.
…Tina Fey wrote a group of friends.
…Larry King wrote a brontosaurus.

“I use Tinder because…”
…Liam Hemsworth wrote I can date anonymously.
…Miles Teller wrote it makes dating easier with my busy schedule.
…Chris Brown wrote I like to take swipes at women.

“I get most of my exercise from…”
…Angelina Jolie wrote chasing after my toddlers.
…Taylor Swift wrote hot yoga.
…Chris Christie wrote what’s exercise?

“I need that like I need a…”
…Jessica Para wrote hole in the head.
…Tyne Daly wrote hole in the head.
…Abraham Lincoln wrote I am unfamiliar with that phrase.

“Instagram is…”
…Taylor Swift wrote a place to share moments.
…Josh Hutchinson wrote a great way to connect with fans.
…Charlie Sheen wrote my coke dealer on speed dial.

“My New Years resolution is…”
…Jason Bateman wrote quit coffee.
…Josh Gad wrote run every morning.
…Mitt Romney wrote lose another presidential election.

“I take care of my skin with…”
…Jennifer Lawrence wrote moisturizer.
…Kate Hudson wrote exfoliating scrub.
…Nancy Grace wrote the blood of a first-born.

“I wish I had more…”
…Brad Pitt wrote time
…Justin Bieber wrote money
…Donald Trump wrote Trump.

“When I’m having trouble sleeping I…”
…Patricia Heaton wrote take an Ambien.
…George Stephanopoulos wrote read emails.
…Andy Richter wrote watch Conan.

“My favorite Disney ride is…”
…Ray Rice wrote Tower of Terror.
…Janey Rice wrote Tower of Terror.
…Roger Goodell wrote I’ve never seen it.

“I’m terrified that America will face a crippling shortage of…”
…Secretary of Interior Sally Jewell wrote clean water.
…Vice President Joe Biden wrote an educated workforce.
…Former President Bill Clinton wrote dick pics.

“I wouldn’t be who I am today without…”
…Steve Carell wrote my mom’s sense of humor.
…Bradley Cooper wrote my college degree.
…Gary Busey wrote the tiny aliens who rent out my ear canal for the weekends.

“My favorite thing to do in the summer is…”
…Jerry Lewis wrote take long walks.
…Kristen Stewart wrote read on the back porch.
…Guy Fieri wrote ruin barbecues.

“I celebrate winning a big game by…”
…Tom Brady wrote congratulating my coach.
…Drew Brees wrote hugging my family.
…Peyton Manning wrote shutting off my PlayStation.

“I won my High School yearbook superlative for…”
…Jack Black wrote class clown.
…Channing Tatum wrote most athletic.
…Larry King wrote most likely to survive the Ice Age.

“My hidden talent is…”
…Mindy Kaling wrote I can roll my tongue.
…Julie Bowen wrote I can juggle.
…Kim Kardashian wrote what’s talent?

“I feel most creative when…”
…Jack White wrote performing on stage.
…Louis C.K. wrote I’m riffing with my friends.
…Taylor Swift wrote getting dumped.

“I’ll never forget where I was when…”
…John McCain wrote when Kennedy was shot.
…Rudy Giuliani wrote the World Trade Center Towers fell.
…George Bush wrote I found out who ran away with the spoon.

“I wish I could see…”
…Brad Pitt wrote more of the world.
…Benedict Cumberbatch wrote my friend more often.
…Chris Christie wrote my feet.

“To punish my kids when they’re bad, I…”
…Tom Hanks wrote make them clean the garage.
…Vince Vaughn wrote take away their electronics.
…Kris Jenner wrote threaten to release their sex tape.

“In my free time, I like to…”
…Jake Gyllenhaal wrote go to the movies.
…Chris Evans wrote go to a museum.
…Bill Cosby wrote bartend.

“America’s greatest enemy is…”
…Michelle Obama wrote obesity.
…John Kerry wrote terrorists.
…Nic Cage wrote my IMDB page.

“I got my nickname from…”
…Superman wrote my superhuman strength.
…Iron Man wrote my suit is made of metal.
…The Flash wrote it was my first time, it happens to a lot of guys.